A powerful passage from Powers's book:
"Or should I have said that I wanted to die, not in the sense of wanting to throw myself off of that train bridge over there, but more like wanting to be asleep forever because there isn't any making up for killing women or even watching women get killed, or for that matter killing men and shooting them in the back and shooting them more times than necessary to actually kill them and it was like just trying to kill everything you saw sometimes because it felt like there was acid seeping down into your soul and then your soul is gone and knowing from being taught you whole life that there is no making up for what you are doing, you're taught that your whole life, but the then even your mother is so happy and proud because you lined up your sight posts and made people crumple and they were not getting up ever an yeah they might have been trying to kill you too, so you say, What are you gonna do?, but really it doesn't matter because by the end you failed at the one good thing you could have done (...)" pp. 144-145.
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